Distance

This year I battled, I battled with myself.

I wanted to pray but forgot

I wanted to fast but became hungry

I wanted to make you a top priority, but I didn’t.

I don’t love you any less, I don’t want you any less but the battle was tough.

I didn’t have an altar to go to, brethren were not around.

I do pray at home, i do seek your face but....

my house is not the same as yours.

My cat, my dogs, my kids, laundry, school, work... so many distractions.

I paid my dues, Sunday after Sunday i was present... virtually.

Sunday after Sunday I prayed to be stronger than the week before.

In this world of chaos is easy to feel abandoned

In this world of chaos is easy to run, hide and forget how much you love me.

My God, my companion, my peace

Thank you for always being there when I showed up.

Even if i didn’t show, you are always present.

This year I learned to value the church, the body, the experience more than i ever did before.

Being close to you is definitely a choice many can make but are not willing to be strong enough to succeed.

I had to battle against my flesh, my weakness, and conformism.

The wind of covid blew us away from you, but im grateful your love is stronger.

Your love maintains me hungry and longing for what really matters.

Your love keeps me near even when everything else tries to pull me away.